My Thoughts On Monsters University

I am so sick of Monsters University. I haven't even seen it yet, and I'm sick to the point of nausea.

I mean, first of all, It's a prequel. An unnecessary prequel. A money-grubbing, unnecessary prequel.

And then it is pretentious enough to say, "You've been waiting 13 years for this! Just a little longer!"

Son of a--!

No, I haven't.

I've been waiting 13 years for Square-Enix to release another good Final Fantasy.
I've been waiting 13 years for a true sequel to the Halloween series.
I've been waiting 13 years for Tim Burton to start making non-formulaic movies.

But what I've not been waiting for is Monsters University.

Have I been waiting for our heroes to meet? "I don't like you, yet." "Yeah, well I'm not to taken with you either. Yet." No.

Have I been waiting for them to get into some stupid college competition? To see if they make an enemy out of a certain reptile that likes to turn invisible? No.

Have I been waiting for one of them to get in "danger" of expulsion? To see if the other one gets dragged into it for the third act pinch? No.

I haven't been waiting to see another Monsters movie.
I haven't been waiting to see another Monsters movie.

I haven't been waiting to see another Monsters movie.

When I watch this, it will be on cable. It will be knowing how terrible it will be. It will be alongside friends, who are also watching it to laugh at it.

And if you're thinking, "Well, he's gotta know that the movie's going to wind up being awesome, just to show him"...

Yes. Yes I do. I fervently hope that happens. I hope I'm wrong about it. I would love another Monsters, Inc. But I don't think I'll get one.

Look at it this way. Even if I'm right, it can't be worse than that unbearable-looking Cars spin-off.